


Mechanical Heart

by acebadger



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Im horrible at updating im sorry, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, What would Zen do?, Zenyatta is a good bro
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2018-07-19 21:29:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7378048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acebadger/pseuds/acebadger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mechanical heart ticking away. Waiting for its cry for help to be answered. Only a few are able to hear such a plea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fox Plushie

**Author's Note:**

> So this was an idea that was being passed around in the mchanzo discord server. Basically Hanzo abused as a child and what would happen when the team finds out just how deep this has affected the ninja man.

Ever since he could remember, Hanzo had always felt like he had a mechanical heart. He felt nothing. On autopilot. He acted as was expected of the heir of the Shimada clan. Regardless of his feelings. It was what the elders and his father dictated.

But that was in the past. The Shimada family was nothing but a distant memory to the citizens of Hanamura. To Hanzo it only brought bitter memories of strict conduct and harsh repercussions. It was necessary, a sane part of himself chastised. If it weren't for the way he had been brought up he wouldn't be the marksman he was today.

Hanzo sighed, feeling the beginnings of a headache. Ruminating about his past did nothing but waste time when he could easily have made himself useful. Which brings him back to the predicament at hand. Specifically, the small fox doll Hana had given to him.

It was nothing over the top, just a simple plush fox. It was an odd light blue but Hanzo couldn't deny that it made the doll more… pleasing to look at. The plush was dressed up as a pirate--A small eyepatch adorned its right eye. A black bandana atop its head had two holes which allowed its ears to pop out. A pink and white striped shirt completed the look, though Hanzo couldn't, for the life of him, figure out how such a small piece of clothing could fit over the enormous fox head.

Hanzo had been staring at this doll for almost ten minutes but hadn't made a move to take it from where Hana had left it on the coffee table. He looks around to make sure no one is looking before gently plucking the plush and turning it over in his hands. He inspected every inch of the doll but found that it was just very… soft. Hanzo rubbed the pad of his thumb against an ear and felt the corners of his lips straighten from its usual frown.

“Y’know, I was starting to get worried that you weren't gonna like it.” D.va chirped from her place stretched out on the couch. “Are you gonna give him a name?”

A name…? Hanzo had never owned any toys in his youth. Nor had he accepted this gift yet. He was simply inspecting it. Nothing wrong with just looking at this toy. He wasn't playing with it like some child. The panic that had begun to fester in his chest ever since being presented with the fox had begun to end with his reasoning.

The plush was soft, he wouldn't deny. Soothing even.

Hanzo mulls it over in his mind. Should he take this? Does he even deserve gifts? What if he ends up losing it? What if Hana gets mad because he was too much of an idiot to-?

“What’s that you got there, Hanzo?”

His train of thought screeches to a halt as the anxiety from earlier paralyzes everything. His heart seemed to cease it's ticking. A cold dread washes over as he realizes who's the one asking the question.

Soldier 76 or Morrison, as some of the Overwatch members preferred to call him, stood a few feet away.

As fast as Hanzo’s thought processes stopped they came back with the force of a sledgehammer. It left him disoriented. He tried to say something. Anything. But words kept jumbling up. English and Japanese mashing together as he stuttered out a reply.

The plush in his hands had slipped and fallen to the ground. That was the last thing on his mind as he felt his knees begin to buckle.

Hanzo could vaguely hear Hana say something but voices from memories long forgotten began to block out everything else. He began to apologize over and over again. When had he gotten on his knees? Where those tears… streaming down his cheeks?

Why couldn't he stop? He was a Shimada dammit! They don't suffer breakdowns! 

Weak. Unruly Conduct. Obey. A Shimada never shows weakness. I know you've done something and you know you've done something wrong. 

He was hyperventilating at that point and no matter what Hana or 76 did, they couldn't snap him out of it. Hanzo shied away whenever they tried to comfort him. Distantly, he heard 76 calling for Mercy, and Hana saying that Genji was already on his way.

Hanzo couldn't breath. He inhaled and exhaled but he couldn't seem to get enough air into his lungs. Tremors wracked his body as he tried to make himself smaller.

Soothing words tried to coax him out of his frenzied state but to no avail.

“No, stay away.” He croaked. 

Hanzo couldn't bear the thought of anyone touching him, no matter the good intentions. 

After what felt like an eternity, he felt a wave of warmth pass over him. Little by little he could feel the voices from the past fade away. His heart regained its steady tick. Everything was so dark. He had clenched his eyes close at some point. Slowly, Hanzo dared open his eyes only to be met with none other the omnic monk, Zenyatta. And in his hands he sees the fox plush. 

“I will not be harmed if I hold this.” The omnic starts in a gentle tone that seems to echo throughout the room.

Hanzo can't help but nod warily.

What exactly was he doing…

Zenyatta drops the doll. Hanzo flinches as the plush hits the ground.

“I will not be harmed if I break this or drop it.” he continues while gently retrieving the doll. “or otherwise accidently harm it.”

Hanzo seems uncertain as to where this conversation is going. It was just a doll. It could be easily replaced. He nods regardless.

At this, Zenyatta holds the plushie out to Hanzo.

“You and I will not be harmed if you take this doll”

Hanzo nods again but can't find it in himself to take the fox.

“You will not be harmed if you hold this doll.” he repeats in a gentler tone. “Please take it from me. I do not want to hold it. But… If you do not want to hold it either, that is fine. In either case, you will not be harmed if you take this plushie from me or you don't.”

Hanzo was lost. He didn't know what to think. What to say. He felt utterly drained. What was he supposed to do now?

“What do you want me to do?” Hanzo asked quietly, unable to look at the other.

“I have things I would like you to do…” Zenyatta mused. “... eventually. But nothing you can do right now. I would like you to do what you want. I understand you cannot do this at this time.”  
“Do you understand me?”

Hanzo nods his head and so does Zenyatta.

“I would like you to take this doll.” the monk said. “I will also like you to know that being possession of this doll will not hurt you. Can you do that for me?”

Hanzo shakily takes the pirate fox. He begins to truly appreciate the soft texture of it. It feels nice against his skin. The plush grounds him now like nothing else had done in a long while. He closes his eyes and focuses on the feeling of stability and peace. Slowly but surely he is lulled to sleep.  
His mechanical heart beating normally once again.


	2. Healing is a slow process

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Sorry its almost been two years since i uploaded this story. Don't worry! I'll be coming back to updating this story soon! I might edit and clean up the first chapter as well! Expect an update sometime next week! In the meantime, here's a bit of the second chapter

Hanzo was embarrassed with his breakdown from last week. He had avoided everyone in Gibraltar and only left his room during hours when no one was awake. His brother was concerned of course, leaving several messages on his communicator.  
But Hanzo... couldn't face him. He was so sure he had control over himself. He meditated as best he could.   
He berated himself endlessly for letting his emotions slip. For losing control.  
His teammates counted on him and he couldn't show weakness.  
It had been a week since anyone had heard of Hanzo and it would have been longer if it weren't for a certain 19 year old.  
Hanzo was meditating when three sharp knocks interrupted his focus. He sighed and went to open the door when it was slammed open.  
"You. Me. Gaming. Now." Hana stood in the entrance and didn't wait for Hanzo's response before she pulled at his wrist and dragged him down the hall.  
Hanzo Shimada squeaked in surprise at the girl's strength and was unable to do anything but follow.  
What was she getting him into...?


End file.
